Taha Ali is a driven and dedicated student from Libya, currently pursuing his studies at Li Po Chun United World College. With a strong passion for social justice, human rights, and peace and conflict studies, Taha has dedicated his time and efforts to working with various human rights organizations, including UN Women. In his free time, Taha enjoys spending time with friends and expressing himself through dance while listening to his favorite music. Looking to the future, Taha hopes to become a progressive human rights advocate in Libya.
Taha:
Being feminine is not only related to being a woman.
Taha:
Personally, I grew up in a family with mostly female figures in my life. This is a big part of my life, to the point where there are pictures of me wearing my sister’s clothing as a child and memories of me using feminine pronouns instead of masculine pronouns. The environment I was in was dominated by women and a feminine atmosphere. My father was there, but he was integrated with the family. My parents noticed from the beginning that I was not a normal child in terms of conforming to gender norms. That beginning would shake the feminine side within me and I started out not associating certain traits with genders. As the years went on, my family discouraged me from doing activities that are traditionally associated with femininity. I never understood the reason behind my parents discouraging me to do so and their attempts did not work.I was different from other children at school in terms of how I behaved.
My personality was perceived to be more feminine, but it was natural to me. My personality did not fit into the criteria that society imposes on gender. There was bullying, of course, and I regret that I never tried to defend myself. Although the pressure from my family and from my school did make me sad multiple times, I slowly realised in middle school that I should be the way I am and I was numb amongst the criticisms.
There was an incident where I was walking on the street and assaulted, then waking up in a hospital.
Being feminine in a conservative society is dangerous for me to the point that I could be physically and verbally harmed.
Knowing that I have the blend of the traits that make up femininity and masculine discomforted people strengthened my vindication to be authentic about who I am. At some point, my family became increasingly accepting of my femininity. Of course, there are limits that they did not let me cross, but there was progress being made. It took me a long time to find a circle of friends that accepted who I am and who never questioned my more feminine habits. Back at home, I do have social anxiety when meeting a new group of people about what they may comment or think about my feminine side.
The challenges became lesser as the years went on because I found more friends and people who supported me. Social media is also a really strong tool for me, connecting me to the side of the world that affirm embracing who I am. It was wonderful knowing that there are people out there who I can relate to, and who can relate to me.
After travelling abroad, many people accepted me and I would never regret travelling away from my homeland. I was afraid at the beginning that I would not be accepted. It is a relief to finally be seen. After the journey of two years now and having changed so much from before I travelled, I am anxious about whether I will lose the community and support I have here, and whether I would need to go back to the old Taha from before. I am also not sure if the people at home who supported me before are still there.
Besides that, I want to find more men who equally embrace their feminine side and continue finding ways to be more secure in my feminine side.
Taha Ali was interviewed by Joy Chen, and this interview was transcribed by Willow Kang Liew Bei. To hear the full episode recording, you can check out our Spotify Podcast, and any praises / comments / questions can be left under the relevant Instagram Post.
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